In collaborative problem solving, it is important to take turns between being the listener and being the speaker.
If you are going to work with your partner, you are going to have to listen to them. The best way to disarm your opponent is to show them that you understand and care about their needs and feelings.
If you are going to get what you want in a dispute, you are going to have to express your own needs. But you have to do so without blaming, criticizing or characterizing the other person.
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