Friday, April 26, 2024
There are three basic ways to identify needs in ourselves and in our partners. The first way is the most direct: Ask, "What are your needs?" "What is the problem you're trying to solve?"
The second way to identify our needs is through our emotions. Emotions are our reactions to changes in how we relate to the world. If this is so, our emotions reveal our needs.
We all have needs and feelings. However, it's one thing to have needs and feelings. It's quite another to be able to label them. Here is a list of some common human feelings and needs. Consult these lists when you are trying to express your feelings and unmet needs.
This module is under construction.
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NEEDS INVENTORY
Here are some words that refer to human needs. (This list is an extended adaptation from the Needs Inventory provided by the Center for Non-Violent Communication.)
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Autonomy Choice Freedom Independence Initiative Power Spontaneity
Connection Acceptance Affection Appreciation Belonging Cooperation Communication Closeness Community Companionship Compassion Consideration Consistency Emotional Safety Empathy Intimacy Kindness Love Mutuality Nurturing Respect Partnership Security Stability Support Transparency |
Connection (continued) To Know To Be Known To Be Seen To Understand To Be Understood Trust Warmth
Community Cooperation Equality Fellowship Inclusion Interdependence Harmony Justice Mutuality Participation Reciprocity Solidarity
Honesty Authenticity Integrity Presence
Meaning Awareness Celebration of Life Challenge Clarity |
Meaning (continued) Competence Consciousness Contribution Creativity Discovery Efficacy Effectiveness Growth Hope Inspiration Learning Mourning Participation Purpose Self-Expression Simplicity Stimulation To Matter Understanding
Peace Appreciation Balance Beauty Communion Equanimity Ease Gratitude Order Predictability Tranquility |
Physical Well-Being Air Exercise Food Movement Relaxation Rest Safety Sexual Expression Shelter Sleep Touch Water
Play Adventure Fun Humor Joy Passion Recreation Spontaneity
Self-Worth Confidence Dignity Effectiveness Efficacy Integrity Self-Esteem Self-Respect Value |
FEELINGS INVENTORY
Words that Name Feelings When Needs are Met
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Affectionate Caring Compassionate Friendly Loving Open-hearted Sympathetic Tender Warm
Engaged Absorbed Alert Curious Engrossed Enchanted Entranced Fascinated Interested Intrigued Involved Spellbound Stimulated
Exhilarated Blissful Ecstatic Elated Enthralled Exuberant Radiant Rapturous Thrilled |
Hopeful Expectant Encouraged Optimistic
Confident Empowered Open Proud Safe Secure
Excited Amazed Animated Ardent Aroused Astonished Dazzled Eager Energetic Enthusiastic Giddy Invigorated Lively Passionate Playful Surprised Vibrant |
Grateful Appreciative Blessed Fortunate Humble Lucky Moved Thankful Touched
Inspired Adventurous Amazed Awed Wonder
Joyful Amused Delighted Glad Happy Jubilant Pleased Tickled
Peaceful Calm Clear Headed Comfortable Centered Content Equanimous Fulfilled
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Peaceful (continued) Mellow Quiet Reflective Relaxed Relieved Satisfied Serene Still Tranquil Trusting
Powerful Brave Capable Daring Determined Emboldened Free Resolved Strong Valiant
Refreshed Enlivened Rejuvenated Renewed Rested Restored Revive |
FEELINGS
Words that Name Feelings When Needs are Unmet
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Annoyed Aggravated Cynical Dismayed Disgruntled Displeased Exasperated Frustrated Impatient Irritated Irked
Angry Bitter Disdain Enraged Furious Incensed Irate Livid Outraged Resentful Resistant Vindictive
Aversion Appalled Contempt Disgusted Dislike Hate Horrified Hostile Repulsed
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Confused Ambivalent Baffled Bewildered Dazed Lost Mystified Perplexed Puzzled Torn
Disconnected Alienated Aloof Apathetic Bored Cold Detached Distant Distracted Empty Hurt Indifferent Isolated Lonely Numb Removed Uninterested Withdrawn
Disquiet Agitated Disconcerted Disturbed Moody Perturbed Surprised Troubled Turbulent Turmoil |
Disquieted (continued) Uncomfortable Uneasy Unsettled Upset
Embarrassed Ashamed Humiliated Inhibited Mortified Self-Conscious Useless Unworthy
Fatigue Beat Burnt Out Depleted Exhausted Lethargic Listless Sleepy Tired Weary Worn Out
Fear Alarmed Afraid Apprehensive Hesitant Panic Paralyzed Shocked Startled Terrified Unsafe Worried
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Guilt Chagrined Chastened Contrite Regretful Remorseful Sorry
Pain Agony Anguished Devastated Miserable
Powerless Impotent Incapable Resigned Trapped Victimized
Sadness Bereaved Depressed Dejected Despair Despondent Disappointed Discouraged Disheartened Forlorn Gloomy Grief Heartbroken Hopeless Melancholy Shut Down Sorrow Unhappy |
Tense Anxious Cranky Distressed Distraught Edgy Fidgety Frazzled Flustered Irritable Jittery Nervous Overwhelmed Rattled Restless Shaky Stressed Out Uneasy Unnerved
Vulnerable Fragile Guarded Helpless Insecure Leery Reserved Sensitive
Yearning Jealous Longing Nostalgic Pining Wistful |
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Step 1: Honoring Your Opponent's Humanity