Resolving Conflict in Everyday Relationships

Step 2: Identify Each Other's Needs

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    NEEDS INVENTORY

     

    Here are some words that refer to human needs. (This list is an extended adaptation from the Needs Inventory provided by the Center for Non-Violent Communication.)

     

    Autonomy

    Choice

    Freedom

    Independence

    Initiative

    Power

    Spontaneity

     

    Connection

    Acceptance

    Affection

    Appreciation

    Belonging

    Cooperation

    Communication

    Closeness

    Community

    Companionship

    Compassion

    Consideration

    Consistency

    Emotional Safety

    Empathy

    Intimacy

    Kindness

    Love

    Mutuality

    Nurturing

    Respect

    Partnership

    Security

    Stability

    Support

    Transparency

    Connection

    (continued)

    To Know

    To Be Known

    To Be Seen

    To Understand

    To Be Understood

    Trust

    Warmth

     

    Community

    Cooperation

    Equality

    Fellowship

    Inclusion

    Interdependence

    Harmony

    Justice

    Mutuality

    Participation

    Reciprocity

    Solidarity

     

    Honesty

    Authenticity

    Integrity

    Presence

     

    Meaning

    Awareness

    Celebration of Life

    Challenge

    Clarity

    Meaning

    (continued)

    Competence

    Consciousness

    Contribution

    Creativity

    Discovery

    Efficacy

    Effectiveness

    Growth

    Hope

    Inspiration

    Learning

    Mourning

    Participation

    Purpose

    Self-Expression

    Simplicity

    Stimulation

    To Matter

    Understanding

     

    Peace

    Appreciation

    Balance

    Beauty

    Communion

    Equanimity

    Ease

    Gratitude

    Order

    Predictability

    Tranquility

    Physical

    Well-Being

    Air

    Exercise

    Food

    Movement

    Relaxation

    Rest

    Safety

    Sexual Expression

    Shelter

    Sleep

    Touch

    Water

     

    Play

    Adventure

    Fun

    Humor

    Joy

    Passion

    Recreation

    Spontaneity

     

    Self-Worth

    Confidence

    Dignity

    Effectiveness

    Efficacy

    Integrity

    Self-Esteem

    Self-Respect

    Value

     

    FEELINGS INVENTORY

    Words that Name Feelings When Needs are Met

    Affectionate

    Caring

    Compassionate

    Friendly

    Loving

    Open-hearted

    Sympathetic

    Tender

    Warm

     

    Engaged

    Absorbed

    Alert

    Curious

    Engrossed

    Enchanted

    Entranced

    Fascinated

    Interested

    Intrigued

    Involved

    Spellbound

    Stimulated

     

    Exhilarated

    Blissful

    Ecstatic

    Elated

    Enthralled

    Exuberant

    Radiant

    Rapturous

    Thrilled

    Hopeful

    Expectant

    Encouraged

    Optimistic

     

    Confident

    Empowered

    Open

    Proud

    Safe

    Secure

     

    Excited

    Amazed

    Animated

    Ardent

    Aroused

    Astonished

    Dazzled

    Eager

    Energetic

    Enthusiastic

    Giddy

    Invigorated

    Lively

    Passionate

    Playful

    Surprised

    Vibrant

    Grateful

    Appreciative

    Blessed

    Fortunate

    Humble

    Lucky

    Moved

    Thankful

    Touched

     

    Inspired

    Adventurous

    Amazed

    Awed

    Wonder

     

    Joyful

    Amused

    Delighted

    Glad

    Happy

    Jubilant

    Pleased

    Tickled

     

    Peaceful

    Calm

    Clear Headed

    Comfortable

    Centered

    Content

    Equanimous

    Fulfilled

     

    Peaceful

    (continued)

    Mellow

    Quiet

    Reflective

    Relaxed

    Relieved

    Satisfied

    Serene

    Still

    Tranquil

    Trusting

     

    Powerful

    Brave

    Capable

    Daring

    Determined

    Emboldened Free

    Resolved

    Strong

    Valiant

     

    Refreshed

    Enlivened

    Rejuvenated

    Renewed

    Rested

    Restored

    Revive

     

    FEELINGS

    Words that Name Feelings When Needs are Unmet

     

    Annoyed

    Aggravated

    Cynical

    Dismayed

    Disgruntled

    Displeased

    Exasperated

    Frustrated

    Impatient

    Irritated

    Irked

     

    Angry

    Bitter

    Disdain

    Enraged

    Furious

    Incensed

    Irate

    Livid

    Outraged

    Resentful

    Resistant

    Vindictive

     

    Aversion
    Animosity

    Appalled

    Contempt

    Disgusted

    Dislike

    Hate

    Horrified

    Hostile

    Repulsed

     

     

    Confused

    Ambivalent

    Baffled

    Bewildered

    Dazed

    Lost

    Mystified

    Perplexed

    Puzzled

    Torn

     

    Disconnected

    Alienated

    Aloof

    Apathetic

    Bored

    Cold

    Detached

    Distant

    Distracted

    Empty

    Hurt

    Indifferent

    Isolated

    Lonely

    Numb

    Removed

    Uninterested

    Withdrawn

     

    Disquiet

    Agitated

    Disconcerted

    Disturbed

    Moody

    Perturbed

    Surprised

    Troubled

    Turbulent

    Turmoil

    Disquieted

    (continued)

    Uncomfortable

    Uneasy

    Unsettled

    Upset

     

    Embarrassed

    Ashamed

    Humiliated

    Inhibited

    Mortified

    Self-Conscious

    Useless

    Unworthy

     

    Fatigue

    Beat

    Burnt Out

    Depleted

    Exhausted

    Lethargic

    Listless

    Sleepy

    Tired

    Weary

    Worn Out

     

    Fear

    Alarmed

    Afraid

    Apprehensive

    Hesitant

    Panic

    Paralyzed

    Shocked

    Startled

    Terrified

    Unsafe

    Worried

     

    Guilt

    Chagrined

    Chastened

    Contrite

    Regretful

    Remorseful

    Sorry

     

    Pain

    Agony

    Anguished

    Devastated

    Miserable

     

    Powerless

    Impotent

    Incapable

    Resigned

    Trapped

    Victimized

     

    Sadness

    Bereaved

    Depressed

    Dejected

    Despair

    Despondent

    Disappointed

    Discouraged

    Disheartened

    Forlorn

    Gloomy

    Grief

    Heartbroken

    Hopeless

    Melancholy

    Shut Down

    Sorrow

    Unhappy

    Tense

    Anxious

    Cranky

    Distressed

    Distraught

    Edgy

    Fidgety

    Frazzled

    Flustered

    Irritable

    Jittery

    Nervous

    Overwhelmed

    Rattled

    Restless

    Shaky

    Stressed Out

    Uneasy

    Unnerved

     

    Vulnerable

    Fragile

    Guarded

    Helpless

    Insecure

    Leery

    Reserved

    Sensitive

     

    Yearning
    envious

    Jealous

    Longing

    Nostalgic

    Pining

    Wistful

     

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