The Basic Course

Lesson 5: Dealing with Emotion

CALM: How to Keep Your Cool in a (Political) Conversation. This video explains a mindful approach how calming yourself stressful situations -- including political and non-political conversations about contentious issues. It describes the principle of CALM -- a concept develop by Gregg Henriques ("CALM-MO"). CALM stands for a series of steps in which a person can engage in stressful circumstances. These include asking questions organized the desire to be Curious, Accepting, Loving/Compassionate toward self and other, and become Motivated to foster well-being in both self-and other.

How to Deal with Blame and Criticism. Conflicts -- political or otherwise -- tend can lead to heated exchanges. It is not possible to resolve disputes effectively when people are feeling angry or defensive. Anger and defensiveness occurs when people feel blamed, criticized, insulted or disrespected. Bridging divides on difficult issues requires what we reduce blame and criticism to as close to zero as possible. That's hard. There are many ways to do this. One way to do this is explored in this video. When others criticize, insult or are otherwise disrespectful, try not the hear what they think of you. Instead, try to respond with compassion: treat the disrespectful comment as an expression of the other person's unmet needs. It's not easy. But it can disarm your partner in a way that can pave the way for a more constructive conversation.

TOOLS FOR TALK

How to Not Hear What People Think of You